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Our summer production was 'Monty Python's Spamalot'. Sixth Form student, Michaela Ajani, played the Lady of the Lake, and when Park Life interviewed her, she was still in character...

Park Life [PL]: So, Our Lady of the Lake... How was it for you?

Lady of the Lake: Spamalot was fabulous and amazing, thanks to me. You could say Patsy did quite a good job, but let's be honest; my spotlight shone the brightest!

PL: And what about that first dramatic entrance?

LOL: You know, as they carried me down the aisle, I gazed at the audience and realised how honoured they were to have me in their presence.

PL: Hmm. And it was remarkable what you did for poor Dennis...

LOL: Wasn't I fabulous to him? Transforming him into the fairly handsome Galahad? I mean who else could have done such an amazing job?

PL: The costume assistants?

LOL: [gives a long hard stare before answering] For my second appearance - which was long overdue in all honesty - I wowed the audience with my spectacular silver jumpsuit, dynamic dance moves and velvet voice! Unfortunately, I was interrupted by that silly Arthur-King who thought he could out-sing me!

PL: Ah, yes. Spamalot's fine romance?

LOL: [ignoring the question] After being danced off by jealous peasants, it was only right that I make a comeback. My inspiring words - along with my fantastic vocal ability and amazing red lipstick -  encouraged Arthur & his Knights to search for the Holy Grail.

PL: Bu-

LOL: For some strange reason I wasn't in most of Act Two - I had to make my own appearance half way through! Of course, I received a thunderous round of applause... but a rather small bouquet of flowers.

PL: Wh -

LOL: Then, due to a technical glitch, I had to roll under the curtain - you just can't get the technical crew these days - but what can I say, I even managed to gracefully do that!

PL: Oh, I give up.

LOL: Then Arthur had the temerity to tell the audience he was alone! I couldn't have him buying their sympathy like that! 

PL: It wasn't like this when I interviewed 'New Art Riot' back in our first issue.

LOL: It was understandable of course - I'd been off stage for awhile - but it was my job to guide him to the end of the musical... so I could take back the spotlight.

PL: Still, you know what they say...

LOL: After the Grail was found - and Arthur finally popped the question - I revealed the most stunning wedding gown and made his dreams come true! And I mean that in the humblest way possible.

PL: Some things in life are bad...

LOL: My agent tells me I must tell you it was a pleasure to feature in Spamalot alongside King Arthur and his Knights of the round table, but then again I must be honest and say, I was the star of the show.

PL: Lady of the Lake - Thank-you.

LOL: Was that okay?

PL: Marvellous, Guinevere.

LOL: Good, good. And the fee?

PL: Fee? What fee?

[A door slams]

PL: [Whistles]